So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
