Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
