I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
