Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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