i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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