You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
