my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
tell me about the fingering
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
