i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
