well I can't set my house on fire every night
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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