No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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