Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
It's blow job season.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
