Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
