i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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