mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
You need a sexual gate keeper
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
