Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Randomize
