this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
