I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
