mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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