You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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