some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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