well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
