Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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