I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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