Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Randomize
