Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
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