I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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