ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
