did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
