she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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