Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
