Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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