I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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