You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
