Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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