I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
