I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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