STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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