i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
