You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
