everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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