We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
