Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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