woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
