he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
