They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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