I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I don't think brook has ever known best
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
