was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
