K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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