You're completely useless in the revolution.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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