I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
